Wednesday, February 28, 2007

"How You Doin?"

Last week was a tough one in terms of dealing with the double loss in my family two weeks ago. I needed a haircut badly last Wed. (the funeral was a week ago on that day), so I went to get one. The lady who normally cuts my hair was closed. So I went to a place where I had never been before.

I wasn't in the mood to wait, so I told the young lady at the counter to sign me up for the next available stylist. I drew a new stylist who was trying to impress her boss. Her chair was right next to the boss' chair. This is probably why I got the full treatment - cut, chat, and shoulder massage.

Anyway, she was a very nice lady, even though she seemed to be trying a bit too hard. She asked the normal questions a stylist that is good with customers might ask, "Are you married?" And, "No? Where is your family from?" And, "How are they?" The whole time I had my eyes closed and was hoping and praying that she would stop with her questioning. Overall, I've done very well with my grieving. But I hate to cry in public. I was trying my best not to.

Sure enough, I couldn't fight them off, and I couldn't hide the tears rolling down my cheeks. Of course, she was horrified. I explained to her what had happened. The whole salon grew quiet with my stylist, her boss, a woman who looked as if she could star in a show called, "The Real Housewives of Gwinnett County," and a Vietnam Vet cradling my head and patting my back to comfort me.

My stylist did a great job on my cut. But when I stood up from the chair she started crying too. So, I gave her a hug and ended up spending about 5 minutes consoling her. Bless her heart. She probably got a little larger tip than normal because of this.

I did salvage that day by going to Hon Yeh and treating myself to Hunan Chicken with white rice for lunch.

I'm so fortunate to have so many wonderful friends acting as a support system for me. A couple of them thought I needed a good laugh. This weekend, we went to see Eddie Murphy's new movie, "Norbit." It was silly funny, but funny indeed. So, for those of you who haven't met Resputia Lattimore yet, you really should go see the movie. It's good for a few laughs.


ET said...

It is interesting how awkward emotional moments somehow brings out warm hearts in most of us.
Now, the next time you want to treat yourself go to your nearest KFC Buffet and pig out.
Your upset stomach will help you forget everything else.
Really though - get back in routine and stay busy.... that seems to help to get over the void.

Anonymous said...


Thats one of those examples of the way things come out when you dont know they are going to happen. Last Christmas at about 5 AM I went out for a jog at a local park in Mississippi and this lady saw me and said "Merry Christmas" in a cheerful voice. I wanted to slap her face, she had no idea that Christmas lost all meaning for me when my Mom passed away. It wasnt her fault, but I will never forget how bad that made me feel. It had been six months since Mom died. You just never know when that kind of stuff is going to happen.

Button Gwinnett said...

Very true Eddie. And I've seen KFC advertising their new "big box." But since I've mostly given up fried foods, their chicken probably would have a negative effect on me. :-)

Steve, you've had such a hard time and I feel for you. I'm handling this pretty well so far. But I do dread the holidays. I still haven't opened my Valentine's Day card from her that I found sitting on her kitchen table. She was surely going to put it in the mail that very morning.

elementaryhistoryteacher said...

I feel so bad I haven't dropped by to say, "Sorry....". My mother was sick for over 20 years with various ailments that spiraled into other ailments. She spent the last four years of her life in a nursing home with me making a 50 miles round trip 3-4 times a week to check on her and feed her. She passed away in July and it's as if it happened yesterday.

Yes, people tell us it will get better. People tell us they are better off. We know this, but a void is there and our hearts are tender.

I can't tell you how many times a day I tear up and in some of the strangest places and situations. I let my students know early on that I had lost my mom and they might see me tear up from time and time. They've been really sweet. I'm still trying to feel my way through this and honestly I think the best thing is to simply grieve and let it happen when it does overcome us instead of holding it back.

I'm thinking of you and I pray you will continue to be strong in your journey.

Button Gwinnett said...

Thank you teacher. :-) Those long trips for you to the nursing home were well worth it.

Every Monday morning I think about it. It's still a habit. And I miss her on Sunday's too because that's when I called her the most.

It sounds silly, but the last thing she made for me was pepper sauce and mayhaw jelly. She told me to let it sit in my pantry for at least a month. Now I don't know whether to open it and enjoy it as she meant. Or just walk in the pantry and look at it.

I also keep her Bible on my nightstand along with a pic from a few days before of she and my grandmother together. Much to my surprise a Hall's cough drop in its wrapper fell out of the Bible! Kind of a strange place to keep your cough drop. ;-)

So I laugh a little and cry a little. Surely just as you, Steve, and everyone else that loses a loved one does.