Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Vatican's Ten Commandments of Driving: Does this apply to Atlanta?

This news item out of the Vatican caught my eye. Considering that the metro Atlanta area is one of the worst places on Earth to drive, I thought I'd share it.

Here is the Vatican's "Drivers' Ten Commandments." How does it apply to your home town?

1. You shall not kill. (I've seen this one before, on Easter no less.)

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

(Ain't much communion or fellowship going on down on I-285, but plenty of harm.)

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. (It will also get you flipped off by the person behind you.)

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents. (We do have a Good Samaritan law don't we?)

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin. (Please, the power of a man's engine and his willingness to use it can make up for a receding hairline, protruding belly, or lack of penis size.)

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. (You mean like when they're 16?)

7. Support the families of accident victims. (Does this have anything to do with insurance premiums?)

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. (It's called small claims court. I don't recommend the experience.)

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. (I did this once for a lady with a flat as she was trying to get over to the right shoulder. She almost 911'd me.)

10. Feel responsible toward others. (I don't feel the love around 8am and 5pm.)

I didn't notice anything in there about affixing makeup, cell phones, tailgating, reading the paper while driving, or travelling in the left lane. To much of metro Atlanta's relief, that must mean it's okay. Uh huh, you know who you are................

No comments: